Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
3.7.12
29.8.09
Standing Up for a Friend
It’s good that you’ve decided not to join in on the bullying, because though it may seem crazy, people do that.
If the people are harassing her physically, you shouldn’t get yourself in the fight, but instead, you need to tell a trusted adult in charge right away. For the most part, boys are the ones who physically harass, while girls…well, you know.
Cruel personal attacks, blatant insults, gossip, rumors – this is the way girls attack. Your friend isn’t the only one being harassed. Every school has a group of girls who are just plain mean.
Don’t stand by watching your friend get hurt – but fight fire with fire, either. Remember the saying: WWJD? You can get a "What Would Jesus Do" bracelet to remind you to respond in a loving, sincere way. Every time you get angry, look at that bracelet and say a quick prayer.
Next time your friend is being harassed, stand up for her. Don’t chose a fight, but try to resolve it. If you hear gossip about your friend, walk away. If things get out of hand, tell an adult.
Remember that anyone who’s mean to someone else is just insecure. There’s no more to it. You’re still trying to find out who you are, but they see you’re farther ahead than they are. They’re trying to find themselves but are looking in all the wrong places. By making you or your friend feel bad about yourselves, they are assured that you won’t be able to find yourself. By tearing you down, they build themselves up. This world is broken by sin, greed, and confusion. Pray for those kids, that they’ll find their true selves in Jesus Christ.
Let your friend know that you don’t care what they say; you know the real her and that’s what matters. It would also be great to start a weekly/every-2-weeks prayer group with her and maybe a few other girls to that you’ll see the mean people how Jesus would see them, and you’ll know how to deal with your problems. This last suggestion is probably the best. Pray, pray, pray. "Ask and it shall be given to you; seek and you shall find; knock and the door will be opened for you."
If the people are harassing her physically, you shouldn’t get yourself in the fight, but instead, you need to tell a trusted adult in charge right away. For the most part, boys are the ones who physically harass, while girls…well, you know.
Cruel personal attacks, blatant insults, gossip, rumors – this is the way girls attack. Your friend isn’t the only one being harassed. Every school has a group of girls who are just plain mean.
Don’t stand by watching your friend get hurt – but fight fire with fire, either. Remember the saying: WWJD? You can get a "What Would Jesus Do" bracelet to remind you to respond in a loving, sincere way. Every time you get angry, look at that bracelet and say a quick prayer.
Next time your friend is being harassed, stand up for her. Don’t chose a fight, but try to resolve it. If you hear gossip about your friend, walk away. If things get out of hand, tell an adult.
Remember that anyone who’s mean to someone else is just insecure. There’s no more to it. You’re still trying to find out who you are, but they see you’re farther ahead than they are. They’re trying to find themselves but are looking in all the wrong places. By making you or your friend feel bad about yourselves, they are assured that you won’t be able to find yourself. By tearing you down, they build themselves up. This world is broken by sin, greed, and confusion. Pray for those kids, that they’ll find their true selves in Jesus Christ.
Let your friend know that you don’t care what they say; you know the real her and that’s what matters. It would also be great to start a weekly/every-2-weeks prayer group with her and maybe a few other girls to that you’ll see the mean people how Jesus would see them, and you’ll know how to deal with your problems. This last suggestion is probably the best. Pray, pray, pray. "Ask and it shall be given to you; seek and you shall find; knock and the door will be opened for you."
27.8.09
Have Fun with Your Friends!
Here's a list of fun ways to get even closer to your best friend...or maybe make a new one!
- Give yourselves a homemade fruity or Italian facial. While you're getting gorgeous, flip through Susie magazines and share your favorite articles.
- Break out a boardgame you haven't played since you were a kid.
- Do cartwheels in your backyard.
- Ride your bikes in the driveway.
- Bake some brownies with cookie dough on top. Let her take some home to her family.
- Take tons of pictures -- indoors and out -- of you and your bff goofing off.
- If she's sleeping over, cook omlets for breakfast, stuffed with your favorite fillings!
- Remember the fun photos you took? Scrapbook them together!
- Talk about your dreams.
- Laugh about your favorite memories together.
- Go ice skating.
- Go for a swim.
- Pitch in your allownace and go to Starbucks for some sweet treats. If you want to be extra sweet, offer to cover the bill.
- Climb a tree or race like you did when you were little.
- Tell your friend about this blog.
- Paint your nails and talk about life. Be honest and open.
- Swap clothes (with mom's permission). You can always trade back later if you want.
- Start a prayer group, meeting every 2 weeks, or whatever schedule is best.
- Brainstorm for fun new ideas and share them here!
- Stay tuned for even more fun ideas and advice about friends.
24.8.09
Q&A: Losing a Friend
Q: Melissa, I have a friend who is ignoring me. She's moved on and the sad thing is she doesn't even know it. What do I do?
A: Losing a friend is painful. You're right -- she probably doesn't even realize she's leaving you out! I'll share with you my 2 big ideas, and you can go from there.
Maybe she needs some space. I can hear you now: "But she HAS space! That’s the problem!" But the truth is, she really doesn’t. She doesn’t have the friendly, comfortable space that she needs to sort her problems. The space right now is most likely tense and uncomfortable for both of you. She needs to know that you’re OK with her having other friends and having her own life, but at the same time you want to remain friends. There is nothing worse than following her around like a lost puppy begging her to play with you.
Now that you’re comfortable with her having other friends, it’s time to confront her again. This is going to be hard – really hard. But it’s super important. In fact, it may just save your friendship. Let her know in a friendly, sincere, loving way that you’re hurt. Tell her that you’d like to be even better friends and that this friendship is very special to you. Invite her to spend the day – or the night! – at your house, just having fun and being friends. Plus, stick around for the next post which will have tons of fun ideas on how to make the most of a girls-night-in. This girl needs to know that you love her and that she’s really special to you.
The last thing you could do is pray. Ask God that – if it would result in a healthy, encouraging relationship – you and your friend could be close again. Ask Him to open her heart to you and ask for the willpower and courage to confront her and invest in her life. Finally, keep us updated.
Remember, if you've tried all this honestly and lovingly, and you've tried the ideas in the next post, and she still gives you the cold shoulder, maybe it's time for YOU to move on, too. If she has no interest in the friendship anymore, is she really your friend? Is the friendship really worth keeping? Was your friendship based on honesty, love, encouragement? Was it centered around Christ? Did it build you up? If not, let it go.
For super fun, girly things to do, check out the next post!
A: Losing a friend is painful. You're right -- she probably doesn't even realize she's leaving you out! I'll share with you my 2 big ideas, and you can go from there.
Maybe she needs some space. I can hear you now: "But she HAS space! That’s the problem!" But the truth is, she really doesn’t. She doesn’t have the friendly, comfortable space that she needs to sort her problems. The space right now is most likely tense and uncomfortable for both of you. She needs to know that you’re OK with her having other friends and having her own life, but at the same time you want to remain friends. There is nothing worse than following her around like a lost puppy begging her to play with you.
Now that you’re comfortable with her having other friends, it’s time to confront her again. This is going to be hard – really hard. But it’s super important. In fact, it may just save your friendship. Let her know in a friendly, sincere, loving way that you’re hurt. Tell her that you’d like to be even better friends and that this friendship is very special to you. Invite her to spend the day – or the night! – at your house, just having fun and being friends. Plus, stick around for the next post which will have tons of fun ideas on how to make the most of a girls-night-in. This girl needs to know that you love her and that she’s really special to you.
The last thing you could do is pray. Ask God that – if it would result in a healthy, encouraging relationship – you and your friend could be close again. Ask Him to open her heart to you and ask for the willpower and courage to confront her and invest in her life. Finally, keep us updated.
Remember, if you've tried all this honestly and lovingly, and you've tried the ideas in the next post, and she still gives you the cold shoulder, maybe it's time for YOU to move on, too. If she has no interest in the friendship anymore, is she really your friend? Is the friendship really worth keeping? Was your friendship based on honesty, love, encouragement? Was it centered around Christ? Did it build you up? If not, let it go.
For super fun, girly things to do, check out the next post!
20.8.09
School, Friends & Popularity Q&A
Just in time for the start of the new school year, here are some questions you might have about friends, school, and popularity.
Q: What should I do when I feel like I'm left out?
A: You could just dive in to whatever group event is going on -- your friends probably aren't leaving you out on purpose. If you have friends who always make you feel left out, talk with them and let them know how you feel. Once they understand, they can be more intentional about including you.
Q: Every day when I walk into school, my best friend points out something wrong with my appearance. What should I do?
A: Ask her why she points out the things that are "wrong" with you. It's not right for anyone to dish out put-downs, and it's especially hurtful coming from a friend. Let her know her comments bother you and ask her to stop. Be sensitive when you talk with her. She may be putting you down because she lacks self-confidence.
Q: Why do some adults (like coaches) lie to make me feel better?
A: Coaches, youth workers, teachers and parents want to help you become the best young woman you can be. They care about you and want to encourage you. When you're discouraged or having a hard day, it can be difficult to see the things you're good at. Your coach probably wasn't lying; he was probably helping you see your strengths. Receiving compliments can sometimes be more difficult than accepting criticism. Work on believing the good things people say to you.
Q: What should I do when I feel like I'm left out?
A: You could just dive in to whatever group event is going on -- your friends probably aren't leaving you out on purpose. If you have friends who always make you feel left out, talk with them and let them know how you feel. Once they understand, they can be more intentional about including you.
Q: Every day when I walk into school, my best friend points out something wrong with my appearance. What should I do?
A: Ask her why she points out the things that are "wrong" with you. It's not right for anyone to dish out put-downs, and it's especially hurtful coming from a friend. Let her know her comments bother you and ask her to stop. Be sensitive when you talk with her. She may be putting you down because she lacks self-confidence.
Q: Why do some adults (like coaches) lie to make me feel better?
A: Coaches, youth workers, teachers and parents want to help you become the best young woman you can be. They care about you and want to encourage you. When you're discouraged or having a hard day, it can be difficult to see the things you're good at. Your coach probably wasn't lying; he was probably helping you see your strengths. Receiving compliments can sometimes be more difficult than accepting criticism. Work on believing the good things people say to you.
2.7.09
Fun in the Sun
Here are some great ways to have fun with your friends and family this summer!
- make watermelon slushes
- freeze green grapes then enjoy! (they have to be green)
- have a spa day
- make cucumber face masks
- make a fruity facial
- get a summer haircut. take before & after pics
- get a mani/pedi in a 4th of July or bright summer color
- paint on your sidewalk (yes, I said paint! click here to learn how!)
- get some cute modest swimsuits (JC Penny's, Diviine ModesTee - customize swimwear!) (see GFG swimsuit review!)
- show your friend you care
- moisturize your hands & nails
- wash your dog (or your dad's car)
- treat your friends to ice cream (yes, with your $)
- get a summer wardrobe (Diviine ModesTee, JC Penny's, Macy's, Target)
- hit the pool (and don't forget modest swimsuits and sunblock!)
- invent a new flavor of popsicle by mixing fruit juices -- make & eat!
- brainstorm more ideas with your friends and post them here!
2.9.08
10 Tried-n-True Tips for Keeping Friends
Write letters.
Emails are a great way to keep in touch, but hand-written letters are very personal and thoughtful. People just love receiving them. Tell your friend about your day, something funny that happened, something cool you did, something that made you happy, something that made you sad or angry or frustrated. Ask your friend “what’s up”. Cute stationary completes this idea.
Invite them over.
Even if they can only stay the day, invite your friends over to your house to just hang out. You can bake cookies, play a board game, or grab your brother’s toy guns and pelt each other with marshmallows (bonus points: eat them!). Stay tuned for an article listing tons of stuff to do with your friends.
Tell them the strengths you see in them.
Sometimes we joke about something bizarre that a friend did, but don’t go too far. Trust me, it hurts when every other thing that comes out of your friend’s mouth is an insult. While it’s fun to joke, don’t forget to mention the cool things about your friends, the ones that make them glamorous, the ones that make them smile.
Irresistible.
Did someone say “cookies”? Show your friend how sweet you are by baking cookies for her. Even better, invite her over to bake cookies, brownies, or some other little treat together. (When my friends come over, we put as much brownie mix into our mouths as we put into the oven.)
Keep promises.
Be a trustworthy friend. Don’t tell your friend’s secrets, and remember to keep your promises. If you said you’d do something, do it. If you know your friend is asking you to do something you can’t commit to, don’t do it. Telling the truth, saying that you can’t promise that, is better than lying and hurting your friend’s feelings later.
Pray for them.
Prayer is our most powerful tool. You might not know if your friend is suffering or not, but even so, pray for her every night, even when things seem ok. Another great tip: every time a thought pops into your head about that person, say a quick prayer for him/her. Sometimes those thoughts are God telling us we need to pray.
Encourage them with Bible verses.
The Bible is filled with solid truth. What better way to comfort and encourage your friends than with truth? Sometimes this can be the best medicine.
Forgive them.
You know what I’m talking about. Grudges quickly turn into hatred if you hold onto them. Don’t fight over simple, silly, or stupid things, and be open-minded about the big ones. You’ll probably fight with your friend at least once in your life, but let it go. Get over it. If you’re having a hard time forgiving your friend, pray. Ask God for help. Oh, and listen to Barlow Girl’s song “Sweet Revenge” on their hit album “How Can We Be Silent?”.
Open up to them.
Tell them your thoughts, fears, dreams. Tell them about your week. Let your friends open up to you in return.
Listen.
If you listen to your friends, they’ll listen to you. Show your friend that you care about her by not interrupting and by paying attention when she’s talking to you.
It might be difficult, but you can print this out so you can remember. If you make your friends feel special, they’ll give you the same treatment.
Emails are a great way to keep in touch, but hand-written letters are very personal and thoughtful. People just love receiving them. Tell your friend about your day, something funny that happened, something cool you did, something that made you happy, something that made you sad or angry or frustrated. Ask your friend “what’s up”. Cute stationary completes this idea.
Invite them over.
Even if they can only stay the day, invite your friends over to your house to just hang out. You can bake cookies, play a board game, or grab your brother’s toy guns and pelt each other with marshmallows (bonus points: eat them!). Stay tuned for an article listing tons of stuff to do with your friends.
Tell them the strengths you see in them.
Sometimes we joke about something bizarre that a friend did, but don’t go too far. Trust me, it hurts when every other thing that comes out of your friend’s mouth is an insult. While it’s fun to joke, don’t forget to mention the cool things about your friends, the ones that make them glamorous, the ones that make them smile.
Irresistible.
Did someone say “cookies”? Show your friend how sweet you are by baking cookies for her. Even better, invite her over to bake cookies, brownies, or some other little treat together. (When my friends come over, we put as much brownie mix into our mouths as we put into the oven.)
Keep promises.
Be a trustworthy friend. Don’t tell your friend’s secrets, and remember to keep your promises. If you said you’d do something, do it. If you know your friend is asking you to do something you can’t commit to, don’t do it. Telling the truth, saying that you can’t promise that, is better than lying and hurting your friend’s feelings later.
Pray for them.
Prayer is our most powerful tool. You might not know if your friend is suffering or not, but even so, pray for her every night, even when things seem ok. Another great tip: every time a thought pops into your head about that person, say a quick prayer for him/her. Sometimes those thoughts are God telling us we need to pray.
Encourage them with Bible verses.
The Bible is filled with solid truth. What better way to comfort and encourage your friends than with truth? Sometimes this can be the best medicine.
Forgive them.
You know what I’m talking about. Grudges quickly turn into hatred if you hold onto them. Don’t fight over simple, silly, or stupid things, and be open-minded about the big ones. You’ll probably fight with your friend at least once in your life, but let it go. Get over it. If you’re having a hard time forgiving your friend, pray. Ask God for help. Oh, and listen to Barlow Girl’s song “Sweet Revenge” on their hit album “How Can We Be Silent?”.
Open up to them.
Tell them your thoughts, fears, dreams. Tell them about your week. Let your friends open up to you in return.
Listen.
If you listen to your friends, they’ll listen to you. Show your friend that you care about her by not interrupting and by paying attention when she’s talking to you.
It might be difficult, but you can print this out so you can remember. If you make your friends feel special, they’ll give you the same treatment.
10.5.08
Sunburn
Summer’s coming up, and that means it is beach time! Remember when you go to the beach, you’re having so much fun, and then suddenly: BAM! You get a sunburn. It’s painful, and it will stay there for a while, and you won’t be able to forget it for a while. It may even stay with you forever, and cause something worse than a sunburn (cancer!).
You’re probably wondering why I’m saying this. Well, next time you say a quick, biting word to one of your friends, remember the feeling of the sunburn, and the pain it caused you, and how it was so hard to forget and could stay with you for a while. Provide cooling relief by telling your friend that you’re sorry and praying together. This will help both of you heal from that nasty “word-burn”.
You’re probably wondering why I’m saying this. Well, next time you say a quick, biting word to one of your friends, remember the feeling of the sunburn, and the pain it caused you, and how it was so hard to forget and could stay with you for a while. Provide cooling relief by telling your friend that you’re sorry and praying together. This will help both of you heal from that nasty “word-burn”.
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