School, Friends & Popularity Q&A

Just in time for the start of the new school year, here are some questions you might have about friends, school, and popularity.
Q: What should I do when I feel like I'm left out?
A: You could just dive in to whatever group event is going on -- your friends probably aren't leaving you out on purpose. If you have friends who always make you feel left out, talk with them and let them know how you feel. Once they understand, they can be more intentional about including you.

Q: Every day when I walk into school, my best friend points out something wrong with my appearance. What should I do?
A: Ask her why she points out the things that are "wrong" with you. It's not right for anyone to dish out put-downs, and it's especially hurtful coming from a friend. Let her know her comments bother you and ask her to stop. Be sensitive when you talk with her. She may be putting you down because she lacks self-confidence.

Q: Why do some adults (like coaches) lie to make me feel better?
A: Coaches, youth workers, teachers and parents want to help you become the best young woman you can be. They care about you and want to encourage you. When you're discouraged or having a hard day, it can be difficult to see the things you're good at. Your coach probably wasn't lying; he was probably helping you see your strengths. Receiving compliments can sometimes be more difficult than accepting criticism. Work on believing the good things people say to you.

The First-Rate You

"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of
somebody else." – Judy Garland

I think all of us have tried – or will try – to be someone else, at least once in our life. It starts with, "I love the way she does her hair" or "I want to try to dress my jeans up like her", which is harmless. If you see something you like, go for it. But this becomes dangerous when we move on from one thing to another, eventually copying that girl’s style, look, actions, and even her personality. We become another version of her – but the problem is, she’s better at being herself than you are at being her mini-me.
It’s a dangerous trap and we fall into it so many times. Ever heard the phrase "get a life"? Well, maybe there’s something in that we should listen to. Instead of trying to live somebody else’s life, live your own! Because no one is better at being you than you are.
Jesus was a first-rate version of himself. Instead of trying to fit in and be just another nice guy, he stood out by being the Savior of the world! He didn’t compromise his beliefs or any part of him to become someone He’s not. He remained true to himself. And the result? His faith was strong; His heart was big; He worked miracles; and He is the most remembered person in the history of the world. No one can top that!
Realize your worth in God’s eyes. You are unique (say it with me: YOU-nique!) You are made in God’s image. God planned out every little detail about you – from the color of your eyes to the way your heart reaches out to the hurting. When we try to be someone else, we’re saying, "God, I know you made me, but it’s just not good enough. I think if I’m less like you and more like Ashley, I’ll be better off." Uh, no way! Can you imagine saying that to God? But the truth is: if you have ever tried to be someone other than who God made you to be, you already have said that to the All-Powerful Creator of the Universe (and You!)
Be the best you can be, don’t be the empty version of someone else. Love who God made you to be and follow the path He’s made for you. When you see something you like, go for it. If you see a model with short, choppy hair, get your hair cut. If you see a woman with a love for God, bring that into your life. No one else is quite like you, so embrace the unique beauty and character God has given you!

Media vs. Modesty

Flip through any fashion magazine and you’ll see women wearing next to nothing. Being “hot” today usually means showing lots of skin. So do you ever think you need to dress like that to get a guy’s attention? Have you ever believed that’s what it takes to fit in?

Let me tell you something. While a lot of girls these days are walking around nearly naked, that doesn’t mean you have to. I know a lot of modest girls who don’t wear those trashy outfits, and those modest girls are still beautiful – even cooler than the immodest girls! You don’t have to expose your body to a sinful world to be pretty.

1 Timothy 2:9-10 says that God wants us to be modest and to dress ourselves in good deeds (which a lot of people forget to put on). There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be beautiful or noticed. However, honoring God comes before everything else. Period. That’s it. When you dress modestly, you’re worshipping God! You’re telling the whole world that you’re a young woman who’s so cool – inside and out – that you don’t need to show your body to be noticed.

Make a habit of modesty and dress yourself in loving behavior that honors God – and yourself!