After next week, I will be a college sophomore. I have experienced more, felt more, and learned more in these months than I have in any period of my life thus far. Attending a university has made me look at the world in a completely new way -- and I'm hoping that as these changes occur, I am learning to look at things in a more godly, objective, and compassionate way. It's been a long time since we last spoke -- I know I'm terrible, forgive me -- so here are two life-changing discoveries I made this school year. Share your own in the comments!
1. It's okay to be alone sometimes.
I told you earlier that my boyfriend cheated on me and left me during my first week of college. I didn't understand how this could happen to me -- I still don't -- when this was a boy who swore to protect my heart and honor me in everything he did. I'm slowly learning to be less trusting and to depend upon myself to guard my heart because I can't give any man that responsibility again. His leaving was one of the hardest struggles I have ever faced in my life, and it still hurts -- but I'm getting through it.
Would I take him back if he asked? No, and that's a huge step for me. I'm learning it's okay to pursue God on my own and create my own happiness. I've grown more this year than I ever did in any relationship. In 1 Corinthians 7:34, Paul says, "the [single] woman is anxious about the things of the
Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the [taken] woman is
anxious about worldly things, how to please her [partner]". Even my exes agree I'm a great girlfriend, to the point of putting my man's needs before my own emotional and spiritual well-being. My relationship was distracting me from pursuing God and his best for me.
Romans 8:28 says, "We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." God saw that my relationship wasn't good for me, and he saved me from someone who would have been an unfaithful marriage partner. Was I angry at God? Of course! But Satan always lets us remember, dwell on, and magnify the good aspects of a relationship while completing forgetting all the reasons it ended in the first place.
2. When you can't be alone, surround yourself with people who won't make you lonely.
My roommate and I bonded, in part, because I needed her after my breakup. I needed someone. I never imagined we would ever be as close as we are, but she has become the greatest friend I've ever had. I'm not good at making friends, but God has blessed me with some amazing new people who I know will always be here for me. If you are going through tough times, find at least one person you can count on. There is always someone. I thought I was completely alone, but God had other plans. There is someone out there who is willing to listen and help you with whatever is happening, no matter how hopeless you feel. If nothing else, email me -- I'll always listen.
God had a plan when he let my relationship end. God had a plan when he chose my new friends, knowing they would be the ones to carry me through that pain. It's okay to doubt his work in your life, but I promise, once you are through the storm you will see how he has been guiding and providing every step of the way.