Is It OK to Date a Non-Christian?

Dear Melissa,

Is it ok to date a non-Christian?

Let me ask you this: is it ok to marry a non-Christian? As dating is designed to help you find your future spouse, could you imagine yourself with this guy for the rest of your life?

Two completely different people can be perfectly happy together. It's often our differences that make us unique and fun. Religion is different. Religion is something that defines who you are, shapes who you will become, and leads you to the choices you'll make in life. 2 Corinthians 6:14 says, "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?" If your beliefs differ from the guy you're with, you aren't on the same path in life. Because of that, your relationship will always be pulling in two different directions.

There are great non-Christian guys out there, and there are horrible Christian guys. But it's best to look for a guy with a strong moral background and a biblical foundation because he should treat you right not because he has a crush on you but because that's what God has called him to do.

Some girls think that if they date a non-believer, they can change him. This is called missionary dating and is wrong on two levels. First, you should never go into a relationship with a goal to change the other person. That is abusing the relationship and the guy you're with. Secondly, while there are exceptions, most missionary dating scenarios fail. It's just not a good risk to take.

Still head-over-heels for this guy? Pray for him. Be his friend. Ask God to reveal Himself to him, and be ready to talk whenever an opportunity arises. But until he's proved himself a worthy servant of the Lord, keep romance at a stand-still.

Do you have any advice for this lovely reader?


  1. This is powerful stuff, Melissa, and I totally agree. I know heaps of girls who have tried the 'missionary dating' concept and end up falling so far away from God it makes me feel sick. What a brilliant answer to such a good question. Keep up the fantastic work! ♥

    1. Thanks, Jessica!

      I had to really pray about what to write, and I hope that it helps anyone in this situation. It's a tough one to be in, for sure!

  2. Thank you Melissa!! I shared the link with her and I think it will really help her out!!

    1. I'm so glad!! I'll pray that God will lead her to the right decision.

  3. This Blog is so amazing. I just recently came back from a christian camp and my faith in god is 100x more stronger. All of your advice has truely helped me :)


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