Zachary, 21, reveals what guys really want in a future wife.
I was asked recently what a Godly man
finds attractive, or rather what he looks for as he seeks a wife. This is
obviously a loaded question because we are all so very different; both men and
women. There are, however, a few things that hold true for everyone who
professes faith in Jesus Christ. Here is what the Bible has given us, as men,
to qualify “an excellent wife.” This list is pretty crazy but it is so true.
Proverbs
31:10-31 gives an extensive list of things that define this excellent wife. I
want to highlight two points from this passage.
First, Proverbs
31:12 says, “She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Sisters,
this is so important! This verse does not say, “She will do him good from the
time she is married,” or, “from the time she falls in love.” It says, “all the
days of her life.” That means that the way you speak, dress, and carry yourself
right now is already reflecting upon your husband. Can you honestly say that
you would be comfortable having your future husband stand beside you in every
conversation you had this week? Would you be comfortable wearing that deep
v-neck with him and let other guys notice you that way?
Second,
Proverbs 31:30 says, “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who
fears the Lord, she shall be praised.” Sisters, men of God are told to not only
seek for a woman who fears the Lord, but we are told that flirts are deceivers
those who focus on their looks are worthless. It says a lot about a woman when
she spends more time in the morning “getting ready” than she spends in the Word.
This verse is saying that a woman who fears [knows] her God shall be praised.
Now I would
like to clarify something. I am not saying that I don’t like seeing my sisters
in Christ all dressed up and beautiful. I love it when you rejoice in the
beauty He has given you. But, I would rather a thousand times be married to a
woman who knows and fears the Lord than a woman who is overly concerned with
how she looks.
The real
quality guys can tell the difference. I don’t know how to explain other than
there is a depth to a girl who is truly lost in Christ’s love. She is not
insecure because she knows that Jesus loves her and revels in her beauty. She
is modest because she doesn’t need the attention that scanty or tight clothing
brings*. She is gentle because she has a desire to show Christ to those around
her. She is compassionate and does not gossip because she has received Christ’s
heart for others. She is kind to everyone but chooses her close friends
discriminately in order that she can be encouraged in her relationship with
Christ.
So what do I find attractive?
What is it that I seek in a wife? I seek a woman who is lost in Jesus Christ’s
love. I look for a woman whose desire for emotional and relational intimacy is
100% fulfilled in Christ. She will be an excellent wife. She is the kind of
woman with whom I want to spend the rest of my life.
Blessings,
Zachary
Zachary is 21 and currently attending Texas A&M
University. He has been writing since age 13; his freshman year in high school
(mostly in the form of poetry). This is available on his website, www.prayerofmyheart.net. He also keeps a
blog (ztingle.blogspot.com) and writes
consistently for another online magazine (liliesamongthornsmagazine.blogspot.com).
*Click here for Zach's thoughts on modesty.
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