Zachary, 21, reveals what guys really want in a future wife.
I was asked recently what a Godly man finds attractive, or rather what he looks for as he seeks a wife. This is obviously a loaded question because we are all so very different; both men and women. There are, however, a few things that hold true for everyone who professes faith in Jesus Christ. Here is what the Bible has given us, as men, to qualify “an excellent wife.” This list is pretty crazy but it is so true.
Proverbs 31:10-31 gives an extensive list of things that define this excellent wife. I want to highlight two points from this passage.
First, Proverbs 31:12 says, “She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Sisters, this is so important! This verse does not say, “She will do him good from the time she is married,” or, “from the time she falls in love.” It says, “all the days of her life.” That means that the way you speak, dress, and carry yourself right now is already reflecting upon your husband. Can you honestly say that you would be comfortable having your future husband stand beside you in every conversation you had this week? Would you be comfortable wearing that deep v-neck with him and let other guys notice you that way?
Second, Proverbs 31:30 says, “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.” Sisters, men of God are told to not only seek for a woman who fears the Lord, but we are told that flirts are deceivers those who focus on their looks are worthless. It says a lot about a woman when she spends more time in the morning “getting ready” than she spends in the Word. This verse is saying that a woman who fears [knows] her God shall be praised.
Now I would like to clarify something. I am not saying that I don’t like seeing my sisters in Christ all dressed up and beautiful. I love it when you rejoice in the beauty He has given you. But, I would rather a thousand times be married to a woman who knows and fears the Lord than a woman who is overly concerned with how she looks.
The real quality guys can tell the difference. I don’t know how to explain other than there is a depth to a girl who is truly lost in Christ’s love. She is not insecure because she knows that Jesus loves her and revels in her beauty. She is modest because she doesn’t need the attention that scanty or tight clothing brings*. She is gentle because she has a desire to show Christ to those around her. She is compassionate and does not gossip because she has received Christ’s heart for others. She is kind to everyone but chooses her close friends discriminately in order that she can be encouraged in her relationship with Christ.
So what do I find attractive? What is it that I seek in a wife? I seek a woman who is lost in Jesus Christ’s love. I look for a woman whose desire for emotional and relational intimacy is 100% fulfilled in Christ. She will be an excellent wife. She is the kind of woman with whom I want to spend the rest of my life.
Zachary is 21 and currently attending Texas A&M University. He has been writing since age 13; his freshman year in high school (mostly in the form of poetry). This is available on his website, www.prayerofmyheart.net. He also keeps a blog (ztingle.blogspot.com) and writes consistently for another online magazine (liliesamongthornsmagazine.blogspot.com).
*Click here for Zach's thoughts on modesty.