But during seventh grade I began feeling depressed and alone. I started thinking my life was pointless. Instead of talking with someone about it, I just clammed up. All my emotions and questions piled up, locked away in the darkest corner of my heart. I felt selfish – how could I be depressed when I was blessed with so much? But that thought just deepened my depression. I was on a downward spiral. By the end of hat school year, I’d shut everyone out. I didn’t even really want to live. I just went through the motions, sometimes contemplating whether anyone would miss me if I died.
A few weeks before school ended, some upperclassmen invited me to a Bible club event. Amazed that they even knew my name, I went. I remember a band playing, free food, games, mingling with the crowd…but I still felt alone and hopeless. Then someone on stage started talking about the Good News. I’d heard it before, but I’d just assumed I didn’t need help with life – I was successful and basically good, right? That night, I realized just how wrong I was. I desperately needed a Savior. God loved me, and proved it by sending Christ to die on the cross for every sin I’d ever commit. And suddenly I knew I needed that great love, deep mercy, and eternal forgiveness. That night, I surrendered myself to Christ.
I had hope for the first time…a reason to live. Remembering that moment makes me want to shout with joy and praise God at the top of my lungs! Life became a celebration of God’s love. It still wasn’t easy. Even today I still fight loneliness and depression. But now I know that God is always with me.
Today my hope rests completely on God’s grace. I desire to run after Him and be deeply rooted in His Word and Spirit. God overwhelms me daily with His love, beauty, perfection, strength, and grace – how indescribably awe-inspiring! I’m richly blessed and eternally thankful to be called His daughter.