Purity and True Love

I have a small, hot pink, leather bound journal hidden in a box somewhere underneath my bed. In my first entry, I am 11 years old. The particular entry that comes to mind is dated May 10th, 2006. In fact, I remember writing it as if it was yesterday.
I was curled up between my bed and the wall, which in my 12 year old mind was the perfect place to read.
I had just finished reading the last page of a popular christian pop singer's autobiography, during which she mentioned how wonderful it felt kissing her boyfriend, but that she knew she wouldn't go further. When she wrote that book, she was 17 years old.
I had this sick feeling deep in my stomach. Disappointment. I looked up to this popular singer as a role model, and she had, in my opinion, let me down. Sure, she wasn't Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, or any other so-called "role models" that were pushed on my generation. No, in comparison, she was squeaky clean. But as a Christian, I felt that the bar had been dramatically lowered.

THE PROMISE
I tore out this little journal, and wrote in my haphazard handwriting, "I promise myself I will NEVER kiss or have sex with a guy until I'm married." And just for emphasis I whipped out a highlighter and went over it several times.
The most ironic thing happened though. The rest of that journal is practically filled with gushing about a guy I knew I couldn't tell my friends about. A guy I was obsessed with for years. One of my former best friends.
See, I think that what happened to me has happened to so many Christian teenage girls. Everyone tells us about keeping our bodies pure. They put so much emphasis on it. And believe me, I know how important that is. But I think the deeper issue is keeping our hearts pure before God.
When I was fourteen years old, my mom brought me to a conference where a lady was talking about emotional purity. I listened, and I smiled and nodded. But in my head I really thought, "Give up crushes? ARE YOU SERIOUS?" See, I found that to actually be fun.
And to be honest, sometimes it is. Sometimes you'll be with your friends, and they will be talking about the latest cute guy, and you'll go along without thinking: "Is there a consequence to this?" And I've found out, there most definitely is.
It gets to your head, and slowly you make a habit of liking someone based on trivial things, such as appearance, or sweet things they did. You slowly lower your standards. It almost always leads to flirting, and flirting I've found to be addictive. Believe me, I know how harmless it seems. It's just fun, you think. I've built up quite a bit of regret in my 16 years on this planet, a lot of it relates to how I've treated the guys in my life.
Just to clear this up, it is not love. It is a "How can you make me happy so I can have an instant confidence boost?" type of selfish gratification.

TRUE LOVE
You want to know what true love is?
True love is something that lasts years and years. True love is my grandfather visiting my grandmother every single day, rain or shine while she was in the hospital. The doctor asked him if he ever went home. He looked the doctor straight in the eye, patted my Nana's knee and said "This is my home".
Love isn't some butterflies in your stomach, or the smiles you exchange. Love is something far deeper.
So how can I give this love, you might be wondering.
It's actually quite simple. God is the author of love. I know most of you already know John 3:16, but it will never stop having such a powerful meaning to me."God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believes in him shall be saved".
See, love isn't something new. Love has been around forever. So, wouldn't it make sense to go to the source of that love? If love is something that concerns you, I urge you to give it to our savior. Say, "God, here is the thing, I really need your help, because…" and explain your situation to him. He created you, and knows exactly what you need, and wants you to have it more than you do. He will also help you keep your mind pure. Because he loves you. Love that never fails. Beat that.

This is a guest post by Jillian.